MORNINGS: MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU

MORNINGS: MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU

Today I got fed up. This is how my day went: I woke up 3 times during the night because I had to pee, (pregnancy fun). At 6h15 am, one eye closed, the other open, I heard the tip toeing of my 4-year-old step son come into my room. Slowly, he turned the doorknob of my bedroom door, with his tilted out of proportioned big head and ruffled up hair, he says, “is it morning time? “I nodded yes, hoping he might still be tired, but he says “okay but you need to get up” oh god, why is he not tired? When does this child sleep? I told him to go play, that I’d get up. 2 minutes after he left, he came back, telling me he was hungry. So, while saying farewell to my comfy bed, I got up, rolling over my side with my pregnant belly.

He was waiting for me on the couch, ready for his tv show because it was a day off from daycare. I offered him 3 choices for breakfast. He said no to everything. Well, this is starting off well!

Tired, I repeated the 3 choices again, he agreed to have cereal. Once all cereal and milk poured, he changed his mind to muffins. I told him there were no more muffins left, he replied twice, “well I wanted muffins.”  Calmly, fighting over the urge of really wanting to say what was on my mind, I explained to him once more, “there are no more muffins left,”, “well, you will need to make some more”

Ohmygod, I remind myself that he just meant that we will need to bake some more…. I showed

him the empty of muffin tray, finally surrendered and ate his cereal. Okay good, made it to this part without loosing patience!

All was good until….

Leaving him to eat alone for 4 minutes, what could go wrong right?? I came back to the kitchen, his bowl was empty but upside down, and with his tiny little finger he was tracing shapes on the table with his milk. Ohmygod, don’t I teach him good table manners every single day of his life? Is he not supposed to be clean

by now?

Upset, I tell him clean up after his mess. Now it is his turn to be upset, so he runs to his room, pouting, arms crossed, and grumpy as he tries to find any plausible excuse he can to explain his mess. I tell him there is no excuse and he must come clean up his mess. After more arguing, he finally comes and obeys. How can he have such an attitude at 4 years-old? Things will be great at 13 ! Just can’t wait!

Then …. Some more

Once my 4-year-old teenager finished cleaning up his mess, with many grunts and exaggerated sighs, I asked him to come brush his

teeth. Apparently, I am the wicked step mother and my demand was TOO MUCH! He runs and hides under the kitchen table. I breathed in, feeling myself loose my patience.  

It is 7h30 and I was already fed up with my day. 

All I wanted was him to say yes okay, but toddlers are not like this. Toddlers are no walk in the park: they have the face of a baby, attitude of a teenage girl and the ability to go from angel to psychopath in 2.7 seconds flat!

Today was supposed to be a day off from day care, and I was craving my morning coffee. I just wanted a quiet morning! But this one could sense it! Can’t they all? They know when parents have no patience, and then they push every button possible.

I tried to remind myself that my step son is 4 years old, he is developing and that I am the adult. 

But this morning I had no patience and I was losing my control. Yes!

This little 4 foot tall, 32-pound guy with his two front teeth missing was winning against me.  He was like, “come and get me if you dare!, I am 4 and I am the boss!” I took a deep breath and thought to myself, man I am not getting under that table!

Shouldn’t a demand be simple? I should not be needing to run after my 4-year-old at 7h30 am! Ijust want to scream and swear, but what will that teach him? I am tired of not sleeping well. I am tired of repeating and repeating. I am tired of being patient.

TRUTH

Being a parent is hard. So, at this moment I simply said “whatever” and went to my room. I know this was not a very educational intervention. At this point, I just needed a break. I went to my room, and put on a funny tv show. Right now, I did not care if he stayed under the table, I did not care if he did not brush his

teeth, I did not care if he continued playing, all I needed was a break. A break from routine. A break from saying demands, intervening and trying to be

patient. I needed a break before I exploded.

MIRACLE !

My step son did not understand. He came into my room asking me what was going on, because I had stopped giving him orders and was actually giving him what he wanted. STRANGE!

Now, that I was calm and we discussed calmly about the situation. Afterwards, he went to brush his teeth with no arguing.

Being a parent is so hard and all I want to tell you mamas and papas, is that sometimes it is okay to not be in control anymore, to have no more patience, to say “whatever” and let them watch one more tv show, or have one more dessert. Saturdays and Sundays don’t need routine. It is okay to not go outside for a full day. Parents you are human beings, you feel and live things too, give yourselves a break!

And remember, “ THERES NOTHING CALLED A PERFECT

PARENT, SO JUST BE A REAL ONE”- sue atkins

-Jayanna Pleau